Climbing the last hundred feet can be the hardest. Above tree line, approaching the summit with no protection from the elements. These moments can make you question everything. If you are focused, it is not an issue. If you are fatigued and your mind is drifting, this short window of time can feel like an eternity. Questions arise, why am I doing this, how did I put myself into this situation?
My journey has been alright and I mean that in a hate-filled, spiteful way. In no way have I had the worst of what humans can experience, but I have also fallen short of dreams and expectations. I live with a physical brain disease that makes the ability to function in society unpredictable. I would accept the symptoms if I could calculate when they were coming. Not only are they random, the intensity varies wildly. I have every reason to be grateful for this life of mine, except for the looming monster waiting to surface and drag me back to the depths of inner turmoil.
With that said, this website was constructed to help me celebrate the small victories and my successes. A lot of the work would never have been acknowledged or even noticed, it is the nature of home improvement. So you managed to properly maintain an older home, good for you, do you want a medal?
As you can tell by now, I am in a rough place. I have a couple new projects that are going sideways. I am out of practice and making amateur mistakes. This is a notice to my readers, as much as I want to be devoted to posting regularly, it is not going to happen right now. I will see you in the future.
*Additional note: I originally wrote this for myself a week ago, and was hesitant to post it. I feel that it is important to respect the twofold mission of this website. On one hand, I want to focus on sharing ideas and help readers with unique DIY issues. On the other hand, it is in a blog format, and it should reveal the character of a manic depressive maker. High and low, the disease is an integral part of my creative mind.
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