We recently celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary. A nice sushi dinner was planned with babysitter in place and it fell through. The reason for our canceling our reservation was wisdom. We were both completely exhausted and it was apparent that the evening was being forced. The night turned into ice cream without the kids followed by some aimless shopping. There are women that would have pressed through this expensive dinner just to have a story to tell to their friends. But, I did not marry these women, I married my wife.
I believe practical expectations are an important part of any relationship. This of course ties in with knowing the other person and being honest from the start. We would not be here today, if we had not set ground rules for complete honesty and openness. This flies in the face of popular media that would lead you to believe that every one cheats and lies to their spouse. There are still quality people out there.
This is easier said than done, but we stuck to our agreement and have witnessed our friends' marriages fall by the way side. I am not gloating, I want to share the secret to our success. Any serious relationship is hard work, and I am afraid this is not valued anymore. With social media telling you that you have a thousand friends, it is a lot easier to spend time with your smartphone.
My last point cannot be stressed enough. Communication is a vital part to openness. This sounds silly to say this, but we all need to be reminded time to time. If you have a problem, tell your significant other. This is the basis for modern psychotherapy. I guarantee you will feel better and your partner will feel the same. Even if this subject is extremely painful, only good can come from being honest with each other. I will take this approach over passive aggressive behavior and mind games any day.
By the way, my wife and I are approaching eighteen years as a couple. This number has always meant more to us because we had such a strong foundation from the start.
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